


How To Date, Playboy Style

by midnightluck



Category: Zyuden Sentai Kyoryuger
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2020-05-18 10:39:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19332886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnightluck/pseuds/midnightluck
Summary: “No, it makes sense,” Lady Ami says. “If those women think you’re cute because you’re doing dating wrong, then if you learn to do it right, they won’t like you anymore!”Ucchi stares at her, not at all sure that that logic tracks. Sirs Ian, Nossan, and Souji seem to be on his side in this.So naturally, King says, “Of course! That makes perfect sense, Ami!”“Right?” she says excitedly. “We’ll make Ucchi into a playboy and then no women will want to date him!”





	How To Date, Playboy Style

**Author's Note:**

  * For [orbitalknight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/orbitalknight/gifts).



> I hope this is even vaguely what you were looking for! Thanks for dragging me into yet another toku series I didn't need, haha

“Byeeeee Ucchi-saaaaan~” the girls call after him, and Utsutsumimaru staggers away from them and into the Tiger Boy Restaurant, shell-shocked.

“Ucchi!” Lady Ami is there, and she is a vision, a delight, the purest form of beauty on this earth, and the most merciful goddess he has ever known because she takes one look at him and steps back, not even trying to touch him. “King!”

“Gotcha,” King says, appearing from absolutely nowhere to slide under Ucchi’s arm and prop him up. “C’mon, tables this way. Keep walking, you got this…”

Once he’s seated on a nice, solid chair, surrounded by his nice, sane team, he squeezes his hands tightly on the table and tries to breathe. “I am sorry,” he says, a blanket apology to everyone about everything. “It is just so… They are overwhelming.”

“What is?” Sir Souji asks, leaning in to look at him.

Ucchi shudders and keeps his mouth shut. Somehow, saying it aloud seems so disrespectful.

“Those women again,” Lady Ami says sympathetically. “Hang on, I’ll get you some tea.”

“Thank you,” Ucchi says, and puts both his elbows on the table, the better to put his head down between them.

He’s been through battles, loss, hundreds of years as prisoner of war while his body was used to commit atrocities, time travel, and more—how is this scarier than any of that?

“Breathe,” King says, and a warm hand on his back grounds him.

Ucchi closes his eyes and breathes.

Lady Ami’s back, setting a mug of hot green tea in front of him, and then a tall glass of cold water. “There,” she says, stepping back and holding her tray as if it’s a shield. “Don’t worry about them, Ucchi. They just think you’re cute.”

 _“Why?”_ Ucchi says despairingly, raising his head and wrapping both hands around the thick cup, awkwardly avoiding the handle. He’s still getting used to these weird future cups. “How can I get them to _stop?”_

“Why would you want to?” Sir Nossan mumbles on the other side of the table, but Ucchi doesn’t listen to him.

“Sir Ian,” he says instead. “Sir Ian, help!”

“If it’s wanting to drive girls away,” Sir Ian says, sipping his espresso, “shouldn’t you ask the boy?”

“Hey!” Sir Souji says, slapping one hand on the table.

“You should probably ask Souji, yeah,” King agrees. “That’s his specialty!”

_“Hey!”_

“Sorry, Souji,” Lady Ami says, but she clearly agrees.

“What is enjoyable about—” Ucchi starts, then stops. There’s no way to ask what he wants to ask without it coming across as terribly rude.

“Oh my,” Sir Ian says, and sets down his coffee. “What isn’t enjoyable? A fun day in excellent company, and the smiles of a pretty woman; what more could you ask for?”

“It is not—” No, he can’t say that either. He gulps a deep breath, and then takes a sip of tea. It’s half sugar and slightly oversteeped—just the way he prefers it. He takes a second sip, and finally sidesteps the issue entirely. “I do not find it so.”

Sir Ian leans back in his chair, tapping one hand lightly on the table as he looks over Ucchi appraisingly. “Then you’re doing it wrong.”

“How do you date wrong?” Sir Nossan asks, and everyone looks at him. He flushes and looks away with a mutter of something that may or may not contain a certain pink idol monster’s name.

“No, it makes sense,” Lady Ami says. “If those women think you’re cute because you’re doing it wrong, then if you learn to do it right, they won’t like you anymore!”

Ucchi stares at her, not at all sure that that logic tracks. Sirs Ian, Nossan, and Souji seem to be on his side in this.

“Of course!” King says. “That makes perfect sense, Ami!”

“If you say so,” Sir Ian says, taking another elegant sip of his espresso. Sir Souji just sighs.

“I don’t think—” Sir Nossan says, because he is an intelligent mature ally and the most dependable of the lot.

Naturally, Lady Ami and King ignore him entirely. “Right?” she says excitedly. “We’ll make Ucchi into a playboy and then no women will want to date him!”

“Ouch,” Sir Ian says wryly, but he doesn’t actually deny or protest anything.

“I am not sure—” Ucchi starts. He’s not sure where that sentence is going, or how to fully encapsulate the badness of this idea, but King doesn’t give him the chance to find out.

“Yosh! It’s decided then!” he says. “Ian! Teach Ucchi how to date like a playboy!”

Ucchi stares at his erstwhile liege lord, utterly and deeply betrayed. “What—” he gets out, but it’s an _order_ from his _lord_ , but it’s not—

“Oh my,” Sir Ian sighs, and drains the rest of his cup. “I don’t know about the playboy part; he’s too honest for that. But I can teach him how to date properly.”

“Good enough,” King decrees. “Let us know if we can help!”

Sir Ian hums, glances out the window, and pulls out his phone. He taps at the screen for a minute, then slides it back into his pocket and stands up. “You don’t really need the asking part, I think, but it’s always better to start at the beginning, so.”

He sets both hands on the table, about halfway across, and leans in and down, just enough to put his face inches away and slightly above Ucchi’s. It’s not close enough to make him want to lean back, but it is close enough to be purposeful. “Hey,” he says, catching Ucchi’s gaze. “A nice guy like you doesn’t need to worry about this kind of thing. I’ll show you that dating can be fun. You trust me, don’t you?”

Ucchi stares back, caught. There’s a weird kind of intensity that comes with purposeful, prolonged eye contact, and he’s smack in the middle of it. “Of course I trust you,” he says, and swallows down on the rest of the sentence.

Sir Ian smiles then, a slick, sly smile he’s more familiar with from battles and training. “Amano Park, Wednesday. Noon. You’ll meet me there, won’t you?”

“I—” Ucchi hesitates but it’s not like he can say anything but, “Yes, of course.”

Sir Ian pulls back, standing upright on the other side of the table again, and Ucchi blinks as the atmosphere breaks. “Great,” Sir Ian says, and offers him a wink and a daisy. “It’s a date.”

He accepts the flower, staring at it, and then he blinks again and looks back up. “Wait, what just—"

“Uwaaa,” Lady Ami interrupts. “That was amazing, Ian!”

He grins at her, and with a flourish and a twist of his wrist, there’s yet another daisy in his hand. “A small token,” he says, reaching towards her. She grins at him and leans in slightly, so he tucks a strand of hair and the daisy behind her ear for her. “Not nearly as beautiful as you, though.”

Sir Ian winks at her, too, then sits back down. Lady Ami giggles at him, tucking the flower more securely into her hair. “Are you flirting with me, Ian?”

He grins up at her, head tilted just so and smile roguish. “Do you want me to be?”

She glances over at Ucchi, then back to Sir Ian. “You know I don't swing your way, heartbreaker,” she says, grinning at him. “Besides, I think you’ve got your hands full enough for now.”

“Fair enough,” Ian says, but she’s still smiling as he sits back in his chair.

"How about another cup of coffee instead?" she offers, and he winks at her.

She bounces off towards the kitchen, and there’s a second of quiet in her wake. Sir Ian turns to the table and says, “Lesson one." It’s directed at Ucchi but clearly encompasses the entire table. “Flirting is for everyone. It's not a promise; it’s a compliment, and everyone likes compliments.” Then he meets Ucchi’s eyes, and then looks around to his impromptu lesson, “but be respectful. Stop if they’re uncomfortable, and no always means _no_.

“And that brings us to lesson two, which is, as we just saw, everyone responds differently. Tailor your approach to your target.”

“Whoa,” Sir Nossan says, thankfully, because Ucchi’s not sure his voice is currently working. “So when you _bespeak_ a lady, it’s _bespoke?“_

No one bothers to respond to it, but the dumb joke does bring Ucchi back to the present. “How do you know what approach to take, though?” Not that he needs to know this, but he is curious now.

It’s King who answers, though. “Eh? Isn’t it obvious?”

Ucchi trades looks with Sir Souji, and then he looks to Sir Ian. Sir Ian waves a lazy hand towards King, deferring the explanation.

“Ucchi is old-fashioned and responds better to statements and trust, and respects competence and confidence,” King says. “If you ask him for a favor, he won’t say no. Ami likes fun and adventure and trouble, but she also likes romantic clichés and complements, like from _Love-by Touch!”_

“I do,” Lady Ami confirms, already back with a fresh espresso. She goes to set it on the table, but Sir Ian reaches up to take it right from her hands, meeting her eyes again and grinning.

“Oh, stop,” she says, laughing, and even Ucchi can tell she doesn’t mean it.

“Oh, I see!” Sir Nossan says. “So it’s easier to ask a girl out when you know what they like?”

“Sure,” Sir Ian says, waving a hand in the dismissive gesture he often uses to indicate _no, not at all._

Ucchi, though—Ucchi _gets_ it. It’s like a battle, in a way; if you know how someone fights, you can predict them. If you don’t—well, every new opponent is a new chance. You look at their stance and their weapon, and you make a guess at their style and aim for the strongest first strike you can. It’s the little clues, like the kind of armor they’re wearing, and where their eyes go, and the distribution of weight. It would translate, though—what people wear represents them in some way, and accessories are a sign of personality, and how they respond to a greeting—if he just thinks of dating as a _battle…_

Ucchi is just a time-lost guy overwhelmed by the modern world, often in over his head, but Utsutsumimaru is a samurai, raised on the battlefield and military history. He knows strategy and tactics in the same way he knows that air is breathable and Deboss is dangerous.

He looks up to meet Sir Ian’s eyes, and Sir Ian is smiling. He gestures around at the table.

“King is easy,” Ucchi says absently, mind still working double-speed to translate the end goal from _death_ to _romance_. It’s the same kind of analysis for setting a trap or an ambush, only here, the result is pleasant. “You could ask him to go do…anything, I think, and he would say yes.”

“Right,” Sir Ian says. “The challenge there is getting him to consider it a date.”

“Hey,” Sir Souji says, but King waves him down.

“No, they’re right,” he says. “There was this girl once, in Brazil. She thought we’d been dating for a month before I knew we’d even gone out.”

Sir Ian sighs, and Ucchi laughs, pleasantly surprised. He’s not the only one lost by all this, it seems.  “Sir Nossan,” he says next, turning his eyes that way. “He’s the protective type.”

“Eh?” Sir Nossan says, pointing at himself.

“Right,” Sir Ian says. “So he’d respond best to…?”

“Vulnerability,” Ucchi says firmly. “A soft approach, an appeal to—” not _honor_ , it’s not a fight, “—to romance, a question that implies you need something, preferably something he could easily give.”

“Like…?”

“Oh,” Ucchi says, gaze far away while his mind whirls through the options. “I would ask him to help me learn something, I think. A woman might ask for protection, or a favor? Help moving something heavy would be ideal.”

“I’m sitting right here,” Sir Nossan says plaintively.

Some kind of byplay happens between Sir Ian and Lady Ami that Ucchi completely misses because his focus is on Sir Souji. Sir Souji is young and often distant, but he is a blooded warrior. He’s more difficult, but Ucchi has the advantage of having seen several approaches fail miserably against his armor of obliviousness.

“Ne, Nossan,” Lady Ami says, and Ucchi looks up to see her folding her hands together under her chin, eyes big and wet. “We’re getting a new refrigerator here at Tiger Boy. I know you’re always working hard, but if you have time, could you help me move the old one out? I’d be very grateful!”

“Eh?” Sir Nossan says, staring up at her. His eyes are wide and there’s tension in every line of his body. “E—eh? Ami! I mean—!”

“Oh! Oh! Me too!” King says, slamming both hands on the table. “Souji! Go on a date with me!”

Souji goes as red as King’s jacket. “What?” he sputters. “No! King! What—?!”

“And that’s the problem with Souji,” Sir Ian says, catching Ucchi’s eye and waving at Sir Souji. “The only way to get through to a guy like him is directly, but then his own feelings get in the way. You have to ask straight out, and it’s a fifty-fifty shot at best.”

“Mmm,” Ucchi says, staring calculatingly at Sir Souji. “I see.” You’d want to lay groundwork to increase the chances of success, if you were going that path, he thinks, and wonders how one would do that.

It’s a new kind of thinking for Ucchi. He’s a samurai, raised in an honor culture, but Sir Ian would have been right at home in any shinobi group during the Warring States period. He’s all secrets and misdirection, and that kind of twisty planning is not Ucchi’s forte, but it’s not unfamiliar.

“You don’t want to go on a date with me?” King is yelling at Sir Souji, who is trying desperately to explain that _King_ doesn’t want to go on a date with _him_ , and Lady Ami is pouting at Sir Nossan, who is now fully broken, and through the chaos, Ucchi looks towards Sir Ian.

He’s sipping his new coffee, watching them squabble, and he’s smiling. It’s a small smile, different than the ones he usually wears, and Ucchi narrows his eyes.

Ucchi doesn’t know much about dating, true, but Utsutsumimaru doesn’t lose on the battlefield.

Wednesday, at noon, in Amano Park. He’ll be there.

 

* * *

 

It’s a lovely day, Wednesday. The sun is weak but bright, and it’s pleasant weather for this late in spring. The light breeze carries the scent of flowers, and the people passing by chatter happily about inconsequential things.

Ucchi sits on a bench under a tree in Amano park, enjoying it all. He’s in the shade, utterly comfortable on the bench. With his eyes closed, it could be a day right out of any spring of his youth; there’s something so timeless about nature.

It’s peaceful, and he doesn’t notice time passing until he opens his eyes and finds Sir Ian sitting on the bench beside him. “Oh,” he says, “Oh! I am sorry, Sir Ian! I didn’t notice—”

A shinobi, he’d thought the other day, and he may not have been far wrong. Truly, Sir Ian would be a formidable opponent on any battlefield. Ucchi is glad they’re allies

Sir Ian smiles at him, something slow and sweet, and then he turns away to look out across the park. “No worries,” he says easily. “It’s a lovely day, isn’t it?”

“It is indeed,” Ucchi agrees. “This is my favorite time of year.”

“It suits you,” Sir Ian says, still looking away, still with that smile on his face. “New life, after a long struggle.”

Ah. Ucchi looks away too. “What’s your favorite time of year?” he asks, for lack of anything else to say.

“Me, I like fall,” Sir Ian says. “The colors of the leaves, the smell in the air, and the weather cooling down. Plus, I get to wear my favorite jacket again.”

Ucchi is sure he does like those things, and he makes a mental note of it. But he’s here to learn, and this is his first opportunity. Ian had related his favorite season into a personal compliment, so he thinks of _Ian_ and _fall_.

And then he opens his mouth and says, “And the melancholy, and the shorter days, leading into winter?” and could kick himself.

Sir Ian glances at him, then smiles wryly. “Good try,” he says. “You saw the opening, but we’ll work on your complimenting skills.”

“Ah, yes,” Ucchi says, frowning. “I should focus on the more flattering things, even if there are things that are truer, correct?”

“Yup, you got it,” Sir Ian says. “A girl who likes fall is usually slightly more guarded, so something about embracing change and appreciating beauty usually lands well. Poetry, if you’re feeling inspired. If all else fails, try saying something you would like to hear someone say to you.”

“Even something so small can be a clue,” Ucchi muses. “I will need to be more observant.”

“You’re plenty observant. You just don’t know how to apply it to this. Don’t worry so much, though. People usually respond better to someone who is honestly, sincerely trying than someone who’s perfect.”

Ucchi takes a deep breath and smells cherry blossoms in the air. Sir Ian is so viciously smart, and it’s so easy to forget that. “How did you learn all this?”

Sir Ian laughs, quiet and low. “Archaeology and anthropology aren’t all that different, really,” he says with a casual shrug. “The only difference is the context.”

That is probably true, but it’s also probably only half the story. That’s the thing Sir Ian does, about not being honest with things. He doesn’t lie, not really; he just doesn’t say anything, lets everyone draw conclusions, and doesn’t bother disproving them.

“Sir Ian,” Ucchi says, turning to sit sideways on the bench, tucking up one leg and facing his friend. “Thank you for taking the time to teach me this.”

Sir Ian copies his posture. “It’s no trouble,” he says. “I did kind of start this, with sending Mika and Aoko to bother you at the shrine. Least I can do is help you out a bit.”

Even that had been, in its own sideways way, a kindness. Sir Ian gives and gives and gives, and then he tries to hide it.

“The least you could do,” Ucchi says, “would be asking them to stop. Instead you are helping me learn to deal with it myself, and helping me acclimatize to this modern world. That is so much more than the least you could do. I am grateful, Sir Ian.”

“Right,” Sir Ian says awkwardly, and he runs his fingers through his hair to resettle it. “You’re welcome, Ucchi. Any time.”

He really means it, too. Ucchi has no idea what he ever did to deserve such friends. “Right,” he says. He’ll have to do something nice for Sir Ian later, in thanks. “When the...the ladies…ambush me, they usually drag me around?”

Sir Ian laughs again, far more comfortable with this switch in the conversation. “That’s because you’re not offering them an alternative.”

“I am—what?”

“Shopping is a good fallback,” Sir Ian says, shifting to sit straight again. “It’s just taking a walk, really. You escort her around and have a conversation. Shopping isn’t about spending money; it’s about spending time together and sharing the experience.”

Ucchi frowns. It’s true that Lady Mika and Lady Aoko don’t always spend money; they’d pass ten stores, go into three, and spend money in one. He tries to recall what they do the rest of the time.

“They pick things out for each other,” he says, thinking out loud. “They look for things the other might like, and point them out.”

“Shopping is an easy social activity, and even the ones who don’t love it usually don’t mind it in good company. We’ll do that later, if you like. For now, though….”

Instead of finishing his sentence, he stands up, snagging a bag that’d been by his feet, and holds a hand out to Ucchi. “C’mon, I wanna show you something.”

Ucchi lets Sir Ian pull him up and Sir Ian doesn’t let go. “Show me something?”

“You’ll like it,” Sir Ian promises, tugging him forward. “C’mon, we’re gonna be late!”

“Late for what?” But Sir Ian’s dropped his hand and started to move faster, so Ucchi stretches his legs to catch up, and suddenly they’re running. Ucchi tries to catch Sir Ian and Sir Ian tries to stay one step ahead, dodging and laughing, and it’s contagious.

Sir Ian leads him on a merry chase all the way across the park, and then across the footbridge. He dashes off the path, through a small copse of trees, and then stops suddenly, turning around and throwing his arms out.

Ucchi can’t quite manage to stop in time and bowls into Sir Ian, and they both go down, the latter laughing and the former with a yelp.

“Sorry!” Ucchi already saying, even as he rolls back up to his feet and looks for his friend. “Sir Ian! I apolo—”

Sir Ian is still on the ground, laying on his back, propped up on his elbows, but it’s the pink that catches Ucchi’s eye.

Because there’s so much pink. The entire corridor of trees surrounding the small river they’d crossed over earlier are sakura trees, and they’re all in full bloom.

Ucchi opens his mouth and finds himself at a loss for words.

Sir Ian sits up properly, into a tailor seat, and sets his bag into his lap. “I’ve got some tea and sweets here,” he says, starting to unpack the bag. “And a bottle of sake, if we didn’t break it.”

Ucchi sinks into seiza next to him. A breeze winds along the water, prompting a shower of pink petals, and he watches them fall. Sir Ian pushes a cup into his hands and Ucchi accepts it absently.

“Thank you,” he says, and takes a sip. It’s exactly the way he likes it. Of course it is.

They sit in silence for a while, and Ucchi goes to take another sip of tea and finds his cup empty. He looks down at it, surprised. Then he notices it is a cup, not a mug; it’s clay, thrown on a wheel, with a certain _wabi-sabi_ to it that he appreciates.

Sir Ian makes it look so _easy_.

“This is what you meant by alternatives,” he says instead of anything else. “You find something they appreciate, and offer that instead.”

“Mika likes the aquarium,” Sir Ian says, leaning back in the sun and closing his eyes. “Aoko loves amusement parks. She says it’s because the ferris wheels, but it’s really the haunted houses. She likes the thrills.”

“Are there any aquarium-themed amusement parks nearby, then?”

“Yeah, Disney Sea isn’t too far away. I took ‘em there for a day trip last time. That’s where Mika stole my sunglasses and forgot to give them back.”

Ucchi thinks about that, and looks down at the cup in his hand and then out over the sakura trees. “So that is what dating is,” he says. “Finding out what someone likes and giving it to them.”

Sir Ian is quiet for a very long moment, and then he says reluctantly, “No, actually. Not at all.”

Ucchi frowns, turning that over. Then he turns it sideways, and then inside out, and he still can’t make sense of it. “I don’t understand,” he finally admits.

“This,” Sir Ian says, “this is what I do. This is playboy dating, not the real thing.” Ucchi stays quiet, and Sir Ian sighs. “Dating,” he says, waving a vague hand. “It’s supposed to be about finding or creating a relationship. Choosing who you want to devote your life to. It’s about falling in love with someone, right?”

Dating…wasn’t really a concept in the Warring States Period. Marriages were arranged, mostly, and it was far more about doing your duty to your family than being in love. After having lived in this more modern time, he’s come to the conclusion that this way of doing things seems far, far messier but, perhaps, more fun.

“This? This deep conversation thing we’re doing right now, this is what real dating is about, I think,” Sir Ian says. “Sharing yourself with someone, and learning them in return. The girls and I, that’s not what we do. That’s not this kind of date.”

“But you keep going out with them.”

“Mmm,” Sir Ian agrees.

Ucchi tries to put all this together, but he’s pretty sure he’s missing a piece. “Why?”

Sir Ian looks away. Not at the sky this time, but entirely away, in a different direction. “Do you remember what Erika said, when you asked her?”

It wasn’t that long ago, but Ucchi still has to focus to recall. “She said…that all the girls you date are sad.”

Sir Ian leans back on his arms and looks up at the sky, avoiding his direction entirely. “Have you ever seen someone smiling, when they look like they'd rather be crying?”

Ucchi glances over at him, then leans back and looks up at the sky as well. “I have.”

“I don't like it when people look like that. And women usually have the most to lose by looking sad. Society tells them they must always be pretty to be worth anything, and to be pretty, they need to smile, even when they don't want to.”

Because kids, in this modern age, are expected to move out and live alone until they marry. Women are expected to have jobs and lives, marry well, and still be homemakers. There are no sprawling family compounds, for the most part, and neighbors don’t know each other’s names. Adults work for money, for corporations, not together for lords they believe in.

The modern world has made many astonishing advances and there are untold luxuries. Everyone has more of everything, and that includes loneliness.

And Sir Ian, he’s generous, in a dangerous kind of way. King would fight the world for any of them, but Sir Ian’s kindness is quieter and better hidden. He hates to see people in pain, even strangers.

“I don’t love them, and they know it,” Sir Ian says. “They don’t love me, and I know it. We’re not building a relationship. We’re all just…trying to make each other a little less lonely.”

“Isn't it exhausting, being that escape for so many people?” Ucchi finally asks.

“Of course it is.”

“Then...why do you keep doing so?”

“Because it's not about me,” Sir Ian says, smiling his gentle, bland smile. “It's like you don't know me at all, Ucchi. Nothing I do is ever about me.”

Ucchi looks back at the tea cup in his hands. It’s easy to hold, unlike modern mugs, and he says, without looking up, “Are you lonely, Sir Ian?”

“No,” Sir Ian says easily, and Ucchi looks up. It’s that same smile from the other day, quiet and small. “How could I be? I have a team that supports me no matter what, and that will never let me be alone again. How could I be lonely when I’m this lucky?”

“Lucky,” Ucchi says, and for all he’s heard Luckyiero say the word often enough, he’s never applied it to himself.

“And getting luckier every day,” Sir Ian agrees, and Ucchi is starting to think that smile is contentment.

Ucchi swallows and looks down again. He finds the bag, still sitting beside Sir Ian, and goes digging in it. Like Sir Ian had said earlier, there’s a small bottle of sake. There is no second cup.

Sir Ian nudges the thermos that had held the tea over, and Ucchi unscrews the lid and pours some sake into that, then passes it back. “A toast,” he says, “To our team.”

“To our team,” Sir Ian echoes, and they both drink.

“Would you ever—” Ucchi says, halfway through a second serving. “Do you want that, though? The real kind of dating?”

The grin Sir Ian shoots him is crooked, unpracticed, and the most real expression Ucchi’s ever seen on him. “You, of all people, asking me that? C’mon, Ucchi, you know how this goes. I don’t need to find someone to devote my life to; we’re King’s.”

Of course they are. That’s how having a lord _works_. When there’s someone you’ve sworn yourself to, life and soul, you can never put anyone else first. King is his everything, his center and his goal, and he loves his team, truly, but it will always be King he looks to first.  

Having a lord is more than old-fashioned; it’s an archaic way of living, and he hadn’t realized Sir Ian felt that draw too.

King is fierce in his devotion, brave in his ambitions, and selfless in his love. He cares for their happiness more than anything and he would never demand anything from them. That’s what makes it so easy to give him everything, and it’s a pleasure to devote all that he is and does to someone like King.

“Yes,” he agrees. There aren’t words to describe this soul-deep fealty and love to anyone who doesn’t get it, but Sir Ian does. He gets it, and he said it so simply, so Ucchi repeats, “We’re King’s.”

“There’s a joke in there about being kingsmen, but I’m not going to make it,” Sir Ian says, and finishes his sake. “Come on, let’s pack up.”

“Is there something else?” Ucchi says, already wiping out the tea cup with his pocket cloth.

“Well, I mean, there’s always more,” Sir Ian says. “I’m very good, but even I can’t turn you into a playboy in one date. Still, I think you’ve got the basics. Try asking Ami or Nossan out on a practice date sometime, maybe.”

“I might, actually,” Ucchi says, surprising himself. “It is—the way you do it, it is a gift you give people, is is not? That appeals to me. Maybe not with strangers; I am not nearly as brave as you, I fear, but with people I care for…”

“Yeah,” Sir Ian says. “A gift. That’s a good way of putting it. Oh, and the tea cup is for you. I’ll give it to Ami to keep at Tiger Boy for you.” He tucks the thermos away and grabs the bag. “C’mon.”

Ucchi gets to his feet and this time, he’s the one who offers a hand to pull Sir Ian up. Sir Ian takes it. “The last time you said we had to hurry because we were going to be late,” Ucchi reminds him, “we were going to stare at trees.”

“Nah, we just needed to run,” Sir Ian says. “This time, we really are on a deadline. Actually, I’m surprised that—”

“Do you hear that?” Ucchi cuts him off, one hand wrapping around the hilt of his sword, over his shoulder. He turns towards the sound, trusting Sir Ian at his back.

“It’s—”

“Shh!”

Sir Ian shuts up but does not draw his Gaburevolver. He just puts his hands on his hips and watches Ucchi with raised eyebrows.

“—found them!” someone is yelling in the distance. “Over here! _Shh!”_

“It’s—” Sir Ian starts again.

“—our team,” Ucchi finishes for him, sighing and releasing his blade. “Of course they have joined us.”

“Did you think for a second they wouldn’t?” Sir Ian asks. “Wanna take back that toast yet?”

“That is why we needed to run earlier, and cut through the forest,” Ucchi realizes. “You are truly very good at this.”

“You’re getting there,” Sir Ian says. “Don’t give up just yet.” Then, in an overly loud voice, he says, “Well, this has been fun, but I was going to see if everyone wanted to go to the taiko drum festival downtown later. I thought King could show us some global dance moves.”

Somewhere in the nearby bushes, someone starts to cry, “Yes!” and is suddenly and viciously silenced.

Ucchi raises his eyebrows at Sir Ian, but matches his volume. “Do your dates usually end in group activities?”

“Only when I’m very, very lucky,” Sir Ian says, leaning in and grinning wide and dirty, and there’s a yelp and scuffle that sounds a lot like someone elbowed a high school kid while trying to muffle a celibate middle-aged man’s whining. He meets Ucchi’s eyes and winks, sly and secret. “How about it, Ucchi? Are you feeling lucky?”

Ucchi straightens his spine, takes a deep breath, and smiles back. “Luckier every day,” he says, and there’s a collective _“Eh?!”_ from the bushes.

“What!” Sir Nossan yells, tumbling out, and Sir Souji falls gracelessly on top of him as King steps over both of them to get closer. Sir Nossan yells and grabs King’s ankle, and King faceplants, so it’s Lady Ami who reaches them first.

“Ucchi!” she says, reaching out to grab both his hands. “Ucchi, do you know what that means—”

“Lady Ami,” he says, cutting her off, and raises both her hands together. “Thank you for worrying for me. I appreciate your friendship very much, and I trust your honesty. Please, would you allow me to take you on a practice date?”

 _“Eh?!”_ the pile of his teammates says again, but Lady Ami just stares at him. He understands now why Sir Ian uses flowers; he would love something to do with his hands right now besides wait.

“Eh, ah, sure?” she says, focusing on something over his shoulder, and if Ucchi were a betting man, he’d lay money on Sir Ian helping him out once again. “Yes,” Lady Ami says firmly, looking back at him. “That would be lovely, Ucchi. Thank you.”

“It will be my pleasure,” he says, and suddenly King is there, slapping his back.

“Hey, good job, Ucchi! Ian, you taught him well!”

“He knew most of it already,” Sir Ian demurs. “He just needed to be shown how to apply it.”

King just laughs. He knows what Sir Ian is doing, of course; he was the first one to see it, and the one who knows it most consistently, even now. “Hey, Ucchi!” he says, slinging one arm over Ucchi’s shoulders. “Hey, take me on a date, too!”

“Ah,” Ucchi says, entirely blindsided, but he would ever say no to anything King asked of him, and it's not like it would be a hardship. “Of course.”

“I’m very confused and feeling kind of left out,” Sir Souji says, and Sir Ian steps towards him, out of range of the mess converging on Ucchi.

“You’ll understand when you’re older, boy,” Sir Ian says patronizingly, and Sir Souji predictably bristles.

“I’m so proud of you, Ucchi!” Lady Ami says in front of him, and Ucchi refocuses. “This is perfect! Soon no one will want to date you!”

“Ah, right,” he says, smiling a bit awkwardly. “Yes, exactly! Thank you, Lady Ami!”

 _“Anyway,”_ Sir Ian says in a voice meant to carry. “Who wants to go to the taiko drum festival?”

“Me!” King yells, jumping in excitement to wave his hand in the air like Sir Ian might not notice him otherwise. “Me! I wanna go!”

“Oh my,” Sir Ian sighs as King rushes him, but he’s smiling that same small smile.

“C’mon! Festivals! Drums! _Dancing!_ Let’s go, everybody!”

Everybody goes, following their King, and Ucchi waits a few seconds to fall into step with Sir Ian. “Thank you,” he says, as they draw even. “I have learned much today.”

“Sure,” Sir Ian says, like it’s not a big deal, and Ucchi wonders again at how easy he makes it all seem. "Do't worry; Ami will tell you if you do something wrong. She's a good friend."

Lady Ami is, but that's not what's happening here. Sir Ian is taking a step back, letting Ucchi find his own way, and Ucchi finds himself unwilling to let Sir Ian go. “Would you do this again? Go out with me sometime?” Ucchi asks, and Sir Ian glances at him sideways and laughs, surprised and pleased.

“Sure,” he says again, still smiling. “Any time.”


End file.
